


You Are Not Alone

by msdonnatemplenoble



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Doctor Who/Torchwood Crossover, Episode Fix-It: s04e13 Journey's End, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels, Fix-It, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Humor, M/M, Memories, Memory Loss, Multi, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Recovered Memories, Time Lord Victorious, Torchwood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8059597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msdonnatemplenoble/pseuds/msdonnatemplenoble
Summary: He's been told  "you are not alone" and even that he "acts like such a lonely man but has the biggest family on earth." So why is it that after leaving Rose and his duplicate in Pete's World and especially after taking away Donna's memories and leaving her in Chiswick, does the Doctor feel more alone than ever?! Dependant, angry, guilty and oh so very lonely, he reaches out to the only one he believes can help him. Captain Jack Harkness and his Torchwood Team. Maybe Jack can get to Donna and find a way to reverse what he had done... Set things right and bring back the most important woman in all of creation.Because Wilf was right. He needs her. Without her, he's gone off the rails. Done terrible things.Moreover, he wants her back in the TARDIS, but will she ever forgive him and will Jack even want to help him?For the first time in 900 years, the Doctor's fate is in the hands of others and he feels helpless, and quite afraid.





	1. The Impossible Dream

**Author's Note:**

> A post "Journey's End" fix it of sorts and a Torchwood crossover too.
> 
> Expect the rating to change as the muse gets inspired, Jack gets rambunctious and/or the mood strikes!

His breath came in needy gasps as he bolted upright, blue eyes wide against the darkness. It wasn't often that Captain Jack Harkness slept, when you had lived as many lifetimes as he, the nightmares alone made sleep an impossibility. Being immortal however, seemed to nullify the need for sleep or at least relegate it to a function of much lesser importance. Slowly, Jack lowered himself back down to his bed, running a hand through his hair as he did so. 

_What was it that had him so rattled? After all he had seen, all he had done? What was it about this particular dream that had him so unsettled?_ He pondered the idea as he rested his forearm over his now closed eyes and took in deep, purposeful breaths.

He had almost lulled himself back into a state of calm when he heard it again, and knew instantly what had him in such a lather! It wasn't a dream but a message! A message being sent to him across all of space and time! A grin blossomed on his face, lighting up his features. There was only one man who could do that! And he just so happened to be the only one that could make the unflappable Captain Jack, drop everything at a moments notice and run to him.

It was the Doctor. The Doctor needed him, needed his help and despite himself Jack knew he'd answer his call.

He tossed his arm from his eyes and swung his legs off the side of his bed. He sat bolt upright, focusing all of his energy and attention on the quickly fading impression left in his memory. What was it the Doctor had said to him? He gripped the bedsheets tightly in his hands in concentration, his arms rigid at his sides.

_"Find her. Find her Jack. I did what I could, but it wasn't it enough... Find Donna. Bring her back to me, please._

Jack's eyes snapped back open, his mouth agape. "Donna?" he exhaled into the stillness, "what happened to Donna?" He scrubbed a hand over his face, clearly confused. Last time he saw Donna Noble, was back on the TARDIS with the Doctor and she was, well brilliant actually. Feisty as ever and part Time Lord apparently. Hell, if he didn't think the Doctor would have left him in the void he was severely tempted to seduce the curvaceous ginger. As it was, the single vicious stare he received from the Doctor when he even considered hugging his companion was enough for him to get the picture. 

_Hands off the redhead!_ The Doctor never was any good at sharing Jack mused to himself.

Still, if he reached out to him to find Donna, that meant she wasn't with him. And what did he mean exactly by "bring her back"? Why couldn't he go find her himself? Was something wrong with the TARDIS? WIth him? What did he screw up this time," he wondered to himself and where was Rose? What did she think about all of this?

Wearily, Jack pushed himself up from his bed. There was no point in lying back down now. He stood and stretched before crossing the small sleeping quarters to find himself pants and a pair of trousers. He had learned his lesson about working upstairs in the HUB without either. Jack smirked and chuckled to himself. Though, he must admit, the look on Tosh's face and her embarrassment the rest of the day, was still the source of amusement for the Torchwood crew. The comedic value alone really did make the poor thing's discomfort worth it in the end. Checking the time, he noted it was half past three before heading off to start work on his new personal mission. He did wonder though, how the Doctor managed to contact him like that and if he did manage to locate Donna, how the hell was he supposed to get her to him? He hadn't exactly had the best of luck getting a hold of the Time Lord when he wanted to in the past.

The Captain paused, hand still on the railing of the stairs as a wave of jealousy washed over him. The Doctor called and he went running, typical. Was he really going to help him find Donna after he had abandoned him for so long without a second thought? A crooked smile touched the corners of his handsome face. Who the hell was he kidding? Of course he was. With a determined sigh, Jack ascended the rest of the stairs and made his way to his office. There wasn't anything the Doctor could ask of him that he would refuse.

He was smitten and he bloody well knew it.


	2. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, still alone in the TARDIS several months after the events on the Dalek Crucible, is tormented by his actions and the desperate loneliness inside of him. After breaking down, he finally decides on a course of action and reaches out to the only one who might be willing to help him, Jack.

It had been three months, two weeks, three days, fourteen hours and fifty-two seconds since the Doctor had closed the door to his TARDIS and sent it hurdling back into the vortex, far away from Earth and all the ghosts that walked amongst that planet's face for him. However desperately he tried, he kept finding himself in close proximity to the shimmering blue beauty, drawn to it throughout all of time and space, just like always. 

He supposed he really shouldn't be surprised. Earth was his solace, his second home if he were allowed such a luxury. Yet every time he'd set the coordinates for some far off exotic planet at the edge of the universe, his ship pulled him off course. He'd toss on his flowing brown overcoat, running full tilt towards her doors, bursting through them, expecting to find something to help chase away his demons. Some new adventure to stave off his loneliness and pain; not to mention, that endless call of the Ood he was conveniently ignoring. Only to find the Earth. 

_Wellllllll, not **ignoring** , he'd never do that to them, so much as... Putting off responding to. He was simply... Indisposed at the moment. Surely the Ood would be able to understand that?_

He shifted about the controls of the TARDIS, absently spinning a dial, throwing a lever here or there, lost in thought. His mind wandered to a few of the less, traumatic adventures he had since that fateful day aboard the Dalek Crucible. Throwing open the TARDIS' heavy wooden doors, expecting to find the splendour and adventure of someplace like, The Phosphorous Carousel of the Great Magellan Gestalt! Now **that** was something! Donna would have loved...

The Doctor froze. His hand hovered over the controls of the flight console. He closed his eyes tightly, as if not seeing the absence of Donna next to him would make it any less real? If he refused to believe his olfactory senses, pretending he hadn't noticed her scent had completely dissipated from the room with the passage of time; she would still be there? Perhaps, if he stood still in the darkness long enough, she'd come barrelling into the room, her eyes sparking blue-green fire, ginger hair sweeping about her shoulders to shout at him for thinking she could so easily be left behind. Her of all people! He'd stiffen, preparing himself for her to cuff him one on the arm, smirking because she knows he can't make it without her. He'd feign indignation, rubbing at the spot she hit, but he wouldn't be able to help the little smile appearing upon his lips, nor her because they both know, she's right.

With a little gasp, the Doctor's eyes fly open, his respiratory bypass about to kick in. "How long was I holding my breath?" he muttered to himself, before racking his hands over his face and giving his head a little shake, presumably to clear it. He feels a sympathetic hum in along the edge of his mind, but can no longer bother to acknowledge it. He knows his ship is trying to help, that she misses Donna too, but it's too much. He doesn't deserve her kindness. He should have done more. Or maybe, nothing at all? The image of Donna, begging him not to take her memories of their time together, sobbing desperately in his arms... 

A kind of choking noise emits from the back of his throat. He feels the burning in his own eyes and refuses to allow anymore tears to fall. With his head hung low, the Doctor collapses into the jumpseat and buries his head in his hands momentarily before raising it up, eyes wide, mouth set in a defiant snarl.

"It's not fair!" he shouts, kicking his feet out at nothing. A small voice in the back of his mind tells him Donna would have a laugh at him, telling him to stop acting like an overgrown toddler having a tantrum, but he doesn't give a damn right now. Right now, if anyone deserves to have a god damn tantrum, it's him!

The Doctor leaps to his feet, his chocolate brown eyes searching the room for something, anything to focus on. He finds himself striding across the room, ranting, shouting. His fist pounding at his chest as the first angry tears slip down his cheek unnoticed.

"It's not bloody fair!" his voice reverberates throughout the TARDIS, perhaps throughout all of time and space his indignation is so immense. "I have lost everything. I lose _everyone!_ Why?! The, the Time War?" his voice cracking on the words, "I did what I _had_ to, what needed to be done... What no one else had the bloody bollocks to do!" he spins around, face reddening as his voice booms out even louder. The anguish in his tone is almost palpable as the words spilling from his lips don't seem to offer any relief from the emotional turmoil devastating his hearts. Instead, the Doctor falls to his knees, collapsing under the weight of his own personal Hell. 

His cheeks glisten under the soft, ambient lighting of his ship, the tears slipping from them through her grating. Hanging his head, his voice turns eerily soft as he threads his fingers through the metal grating of the floor, clinging to it as if he might fall if he let go. He knows his ship is scared for him. He hasn't been this bad since the war, but he doesn't stop to reassure her. It's too late for all of that now.

"How long must I be punished for? The Ood, they said..." he swallowed hard, "they said, my song is ending soon. Maybe, maybe that's a good thing? Maybe it's what I bloody well deserve after what I've done. Donna," his breath hitches, "I... I killed her. Left her with that... That so-called mother of hers and left her," he whispers hoarsely, shaking his head. "Rose. Rose, she will be fine. Brilliant in fact. She was so _different_ when I saw her, but she is _so_ capable, so clever... has her entire family's support... Has, well me," he acknowledged, shoving down any residual guilt about abandoning his duplicate. Slowly, he releases his grip on the TARDIS grating and lifts his head slightly as he settles back upon his bum. Wearily, he leans up against a nearby coral strut, resting his head against the cool, rough structure of it, finding it oddly comforting.

"Donna? I took away everything she had become, everything she was meant to be," he groaned, rolling his eyes. He had seen her timelines. He knew things didn't _have_ to end this way. That somehow, someway, there was a timeline in which the DoctorDonna survived, and OH! What a brilliant, bright timeline it was! Shimmering and glowing, weaving in and out of time like a majestic pathway! He rubbed a hand along the strut, "She promised me forever," his throat tightened and he looked up at the ceiling, a wry chuckle escaped before he spoke again, "Dammit, I wanted it too. I wanted forever with her. Brain of a Time Lord and all, that could have been just the beginning. She was changing and you KNOW IT!" he shouted the last bit out into the nothingness, his anger and desperation reasserting itself.

Slowly, the Doctor clawed his way back to his feet, using the coral structure for support. He wasn't sure when his feelings for Donna had grown into something stronger than friendship, or even what those feelings were exactly, but he knew he needed her and that she needed him, or that the universe needed Donna Noble out amongst the stars running across the surfaces of distant planets, toppling corrupt regimes, saving the little guys from fates worse than death and...

Straightening his tie, the Doctor ran a quick hand through his hair and gave a little smirk. 

_Keeping one **very** handsome, **very** clever, Time Lord, in line! _ He thought to himself with a private snicker.

The solution was staring him in the face and he knew it, but what was it?! He paced the TARDIS floor, admonishing himself to think and think some more when he simply stopped mid stride, a grin rapidly spreading across his face.

"Oh!" he exclaimed bouncing on his toes, "sometimes my head is so stupid!" he gave his forehead a whack with the heel of his hand, eyes wide as he spun around in a circle, the excitement building up inside of him. 

As fast as his long, lean legs could carry him, the Doctor ran towards his room on the TARDIS. He would need to get into an almost meditative state for this to work. He couldn't contact Donna himself, but he knew someone who could. Jack. Jack could help, well, he was fairly certain Jack could help. Jack and his incredibly clever team at Torchwood. Anything he could do to help bring back Donna's memories, well they simply wouldn't work if seeing him, remembering him would cause her mind to overload and kill her, but them? His grin continued to grow, he was quite certain, Jack and his team, working with him of course, could come up with a plan to find Donna and safely unlock her memories. Restoring her completely and allowing her to return to the TARDIS.

He paused at the door of his room. Allowing her to return, to him. He smiled sheepishly, before clearing his throat and pushing the door open.


	3. Settling Is Not Good Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding invitations are WRONG. Actually, everything feels wrong. Wilfred Mott decides enough is enough. The universe needs the most important woman in all of creation. The Doctor needs her and more important to him, Donna needs him too. It was high time someone find the Doctor and make him come fix his grandaughter!

"Is there cotton wool in your bloody ears or somethin', mate? For the _third_ time, I didn't say the _green_ ones, I said the _blue_ ones, the **blue** ones!" Donna exclaimed with a groan, tossing her hands up in the air. "Honestly, what is so hard about this?" she sunk down on the hard plastic chair beside the table the assorted wedding stationary was spread out on waiting for her approaval. 

Wilfred Mott gave his grandaughter a sympathetic look trying to soothe her frazzled nerves. Covering her hand with his, he made his voice calm, but firm. "Now Donna," he began as he cast his glance quickly towards the shoppe's proprietor, trying to convey his apology for Donna's outburst with his eyes. He was hoping he was used to difficult brides and wouldn't think too poorly of her. 

_His poor girl hadn't had too easy of a time as of late, he thought wistfully. Sadly._

Undaunted, Wilf continued, "Green has always been your favourite colour, Love. Are you sure you didn't want the ones with the green accent?" he pressed her carefully. Not wanting to provoke her further.

Standing, her grandfather's hand fell back to his side, which was fine by her right now. She was getting a bit tired of the "poor Donna" routine from him anyway. "I think I should know what my bloody favourite colour is!" she shot back at him before pursing her lips, moving her hands to rest upon the soft curve of her hips. "Or did I forget that too?" her tone was more than just slightly caustic. The bitterness evident in her expression. 

Confident that she now had the floor, Donna continued."If I am gonna get married, then I think I should know what I want, yeah? And what I want is the invitations with the **blue** squiggles or whatever the hell you call them on it," she insisted, eyes narrowing slightly. "And not just any ol' blue there neither. The one I showed you, yeah... Not too light, not too dark. No undertones of this or that. Just _blue_. The proper blue," she worked her jaw for a moment in frustration. It was on the tip of her tongue- the perfect example of the shade she was referring to, but like so many things lately, the word was just out of reach. 

With a huff, Donna glanced between the two men, "If Shaun were bloody here, he would back me up," she crossed her arms across her chest defiantly.

Wilf couldn't help it. He chuckled at his impossibly stubborn grandaughter. "That's because that man of yer's is scared to death of you Sweetheart!" he grinned at her, eyes twinkling.

Donna tried to stay annoyed with her grandfather. She shot him a little look, but it didn't last. Of course she couldn't stay cross with him! Despite her best efforts, a smile started to creep across her face. "Welllllll," she trilled, "you're not wrong," she finally admitted, dropping her arms and laughing a bit along with him. "Still, that doesn't change the fact that if I'm really doin' this, then I want the ones with the blue on 'em," she insisted, head cocked slightly as she shrugged.

"Of course not, Sweetheart," Wilf agreed but something about what she said wasn't sitting right with him. "Why don't you go put some more change in the meter and I'll take care of this mess?" he urged her, hoping for a moment to himself. He need a bit of peace to process a few things Donna had said, or better yet, the _way_ she had said them. Plus, he figured he probably should apologise to the shoppe keeper for changing the order and for Donna's bit of temper. 

So it was with a grateful heart that he accepted the kiss on the top of his head from her as she headed outside to feed the meter. He patted her hand when she placed it upon his shoulder and grinned after her until she had left the store leaving only the clanging of the bells attached to the metal and glass door in her wake.

Wilf scrubbed his face with his hands, dragging his fingers down his worry worn face. "Oi," he muttered under his breath, "I don't rightly believe Donna _wants_ to marry Shaun," he groaned under the weight of his discovery. "Oh, I wish his lordship were here. That he'd come back and just bloody _fix_ her! Take her away from all of... _this_!" 

He picked up one of the discarded invitations and shook his head wearily before glancing back towards the door. Wilf let the piece of cardstock fall back amongst the others upon the table and adjusted the hat upon his head. He'd been watching Donna, watching her closely. Worried that she might remember too much. Worried about the nightmares that seemed to plague her at night, the ones she mercifully never could remember upon waking, were getting to her. Thankfully, that did not seem to be the case. Oh! But the fuss she'd make in her sleep! Shoutin', calling out for him. The Doctor. He knew Sylvia was beyond frustrated and angry with the situation, but him? He couldn't fault the man. He had been there when he brought Donna home. 

Wilf pulled the hat from his head, clutching it to his chest. Despite his best efforts, his vision blurred with unshed tears as the memory of the Doctor, huddled on his doorstep, clutching an unconscious Donna returned to him. He looked _so..._ scared! Terrified even! Even his voice betrayed him. It broke when he tried to speak! The desperation in his simple, "Help me!" still haunted his own dreams. Until that instant, he never even considered it possible for his lordship to be so... Well, so very _human_! Fragile. Breakable, like the rest of us. Until then, he assumed the Doctor was made of tougher stuff and a more stern constitution. However, seeing him so riddled with pain and guilt... His eyes no longer laughing... Frankly, he was worried about him. He'd spend countless hours every night, scanning the night sky, searching for any sign of his marvellous blue box. Always finding nothing. 

Wilfred swallowed hard, his emotions threatening to choke him. It would never do to allow Donna to see him like that, he chastised himself. She already suspected too much. There were times he would catch her, just staring off into the distance, as if chasing a memory by the tail. Only to sigh in frustration when it would slip through her fingers. Yet, there were other times when she would say something, something out of the blue. Something he knew must be from her time with the Doctor, only to look at whomever repeated it back to her like they'd gone off the rails and she never said any such thing. 

However, the thing that most concerned him, was that bloody key she still wore around her neck.

WIlf paced like a caged tiger, considering the matter. He had tried to take it from her more than once, reasoning with her that it most likely a useless object. A key to something long lost, never to be found again, so why hold on to it, let alone wear it around her neck like a 7 year old? Every single time he thought he was making inroads with his argument, Donna would finger the key almost reverently and get this sad, far off look upon her face. It was enough to break an old man's heart it was! And every bloody time, she would change her mind and decide to hold on to it for just a little while more. Frustrated and worried that the TARDIS key would trigger her memory, he finally asked her straight out _why_ she'd want to keep such a useless, bloody object! 

He wasn't prepared for her answer. Not in the least.

With more poise than Wilfred Mott had seen from Donna in the days since the Doctor had brought her home, she smiled softly at him. Her fingers, once again, absently returning to touch the key dangling around her neck like it was a precious gem. She glanced down at it and then looked back at him before speaking. 

"Because Gramps, I can't rightly explain it. But I just _know_ I am gonna need this key again. Please don't ask me to explain it. I can't. I know I sound daft. Only, I know it is bloody important! I can feel it. It's almost as if," she paused for a moment, biting down on the corner of her lower lip as she considered her words carefully. She let her lip slip back into place as her blue-green eyes seemed to stare at something only she could see. "It's almost like, when I _touch it_ , there's this very subtle, very quiet... humming of sorts, way in the back of my brain. And I like it. It's soothing and," she hesitated, "somehow, familiar but not, all at the same time." 

He knew he was staring at her, mouth agape, as she described holding the TARDIS key. A fact Donna was all too quick to point out to him. He didn't know what to make of it! Part of him thought it was brilliant! Maybe that meant the Doctor would be coming back for her after all? Still, there was another part of him that was frightened too. What if she remembered something and it killed her? He couldn't have that. Wouldn't!

A sound from outside the shoppe brought him back to the matter at hand. Straining to focus better, Wilf could hear his grandaughter shouting at someone, most likely a meter maid he figured. With a sigh, he figured he should probably go out and investigate, the invitations long forgotten. However, from the way Donna was talking, Wilf couldn't shake the feeling his girl was settling, marrying Shaun Temple because she felt she could do no better. That wasn't fair to either of them. Shaun was an okay bloke, a good kid. He deserved someone who wanted nothing more in this world than to marry him. And as for Donna?

Well, as far as Wilfred Mott was concerned, there was only one... Man, er, alien. Oh bloody hell, whatever you wanted to call him! There was only **one** his lordship, good enough for his grandaughter and it was high time he came back here and fixed the mess he created! He needed to undo whatever he did to Donna and whisk her back off to live the rest of her life back amongst the bloody stars! After all, she was the most important woman in all of creation! His lordship had said so himself! She did not deserve to be stuck here on Earth! Donna Noble needed to be out savin' the universe, keepin' watch over everythin' and everybody! Includin' the Doctor and that's all there was to it! The Doctor had told him that Donna took care of him. Well then, it was past time for him to come back here and return the bloody favour now wasn't it?!

With a renewed sense of purpose, Wilf situated his hat on his head and then pulled out his mobile from his coat pocket. He crossed the threshold of the door, the clattering bells signalling their goodbye as he exited the store. He scanned his phone quickly as he walked, nodding when he found the number he was looking for and hit send. 

He found himself impatient as he listened to the bleating tones indicating the other phone was ringing. Finally, the other party picked up and he could only grin. "Minnie! It's me! Wilfred Mott! Look, don't have time for a chat right this mo' but I'm puttin' the silver cloak into action yeah," he told her authoritatively as he shook his head in Donna's direction. He grimaced slightly noticing she was still in mid argument with the officer holding the ticket pad.


	4. Explanation Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack needs to explain about his odd message in the middle of the night and what it means for him and the Torchwood team. It won't be easy, especially since it concerns the Doctor. However, if Jack can't do it, maybe the appearance of a certain alien can help convince everyone to get on board to help bring back the most important woman in all of creation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Life decided to get cruel and get in the way! But here it is! Thanks for sticking with me!

Jack stood with his hands upon his hips in the centre of the HUB as he prepared to address his team. He was not entirely sure why he was nervous, but he was, a bit. Maybe it had to do with his team's usual reaction to any mention of him and the Doctor? Ianto and Gwen's demeanours were both sure to change almost immediately. He could feel their worry that he would be abandoning them, _again,_ for the Time Lord. Owen? Well Owen would get pissed off, start ranting about him swanning off or ignoring what was going on at home to chase some alien shag. Then there was Tosh. Sweet Tosh. Jack smiled softly as he glanced over towards her. It would be rare for her to speak up against him. Still, there would be a quiet disappointment in her eyes that would trigger a sense of guilt that he didn't like to acknowledge still existed. It reminded him of when he was a boy back on the Boeshane Peninsula. 

Mom guilt. That's what it was. His blue eyes clouded over slightly. She had it and in spades! Who was he fooling though? This was Torchwood. The odds of any member of his team ever being able to have that kind of life; to get married and become parents... Well, that wasn't bloody likely now was it?

Jack could feel Ianto's eyes upon him and he shot him a lewd smile, not bothering to hide the fact he was checking him out in his new suit. The Captain raised a single eyebrow in his direction before clearing his throat and addressing everybody.

"All right team," he called out brightly to them, striding across the floor and stopping near Gwen's station. Jack allowed himself a moment to take in the sight of her, standing near enough to breathe in her scent. He met her eyes briefly and shoved off to make his way to neutral territory. It was safer for him there, for both his hormones and from Gwen's Welsh temper he reasoned. 

"Last night I got a message, of sorts." He cocked his head and shot Owen a look before he could interrupt. "I didn't see the need to bring anyone in, as far as I can tell it's not an emergency, but it is a priority," he stressed, taking a moment to let his gaze fall upon each and every one of them. 

Owen had been tapping a pen upon his workstation before popping the end between his lips as Jack addressed them. His brown eyes bore holes into Jack Harkness as he paced the floor. Noting his body language, the way he subtly flirted with Ianto and Gwen, Owen had no doubt this little mission of theirs wasn't going to go over too well with the lot of them. That could only mean one thing... 

"Um, excuse me, Jack?" Owen piped up, pen now shoved in his pocket. The medic leaned forward. "This little mission of yours, oops, sorry. I mean _ours_ ," he fired off a skeptical look in the other's direction. "It seems to have you a bit, well, antsy." Owen pushed back from his station and stood up. "Now, you say it's not an emergency, but you're acting suspicious if you ask me." Owen continued with a little nod. "So either your lyin' and that certainly wouldn't be the first time now would it?" he rolled his eyes. "Or, you're gettin' ready to go swannin' off again after that Doctor of yours." He paused and met eyes with a few of his co-workers before sighing deeply. "Why not just do us all a favour Jack and come right out and tell us, yeah?"

Jack let Owen have his say. He stood at the ready, arms crossed across his chest. "Are you finished?" He tilted his head as he addressed Owen and inhaled deeply before continuing. He let his eyes scan the faces of his team, trying to read them quickly. He took note of the myriad of emotions on display and filed the information away quickly so he could best address the situation head on. Ianto just looked wounded. He'd try to avoid that kettle of worms right now if he could. It was bad enough that Jack had a suspicion that Ianto knew of his feelings for Gwen. Gwen. Well Gwen looked resolute and the tiniest bit pissed off. Okay then, moving on.... He already knew how Owen was feeling. Hell, everyone knew the medic's opinion right about now didn't they? That left Tosh. His eyes skirted over towards her and there was the look he was searching for. Patience. But that was Tosh all over now wasn't it? Jack focused on her when he spoke up. "If I can speak now," he shot Owen a bit of a look. "What I was going to say is that, yes. I received a message and yes, it was from the Doctor." Jack paused as there were a few low grumbles. He rolled his eyes and held up his hand. "Now before you all mutiny on me," he interrupted, "let me just set the record straight here. I have no intention on swanning off as Owen so elegantly put it. Not if it can at all be helped," he stressed. "However, he does need _our_ help." Jack made sure to emphasize the word _our_ to insure the others knew this wasn't about him. "A friend of the Doctor, and mine," he admitted, "is in some sort of trouble and when I tell you her name," he paused and gave his head a thoughtful nod. "Well, then you'll know why it is so important for us to do this." Jack pushed away from where he was leaning and started to pace about the floor of the HUB. "The entire universe... No, all of _creation,_ " he quickly corrected himself, "owes it to her to come to her aide if she's in trouble. Even is she doesn't realise it." He added softly, a hint of sadness hanging on his words. 

Gwen made her way over to Jack, her large green eyes focused on the distance in his eyes. "Jack?" She pushed gently, her hand reaching out to rest upon his arm. "This woman, the one we are helping is it her? The one that saved us from the Daleks?" Gwen scoured his face with her eyes, searching for the truth in his expression.

The Captain covered his hand with hers and gave her a gentle smile, "Yeah, it's her," he admitted with a wry grin. "Donna. Donna Noble. The most important woman in all of creation," there was a sadness in his eyes as he spoke her name that he was sure the others wouldn't miss. Jack cleared his throat. "Donna travelled with the Doctor." He chuckled, "kept his arse in line too she did. They made one helluva team. And while he never admitted it, well, ol' Donna was just what the Doc needed after losing so much. The two of them were something else." Jack allowed himself a moment as he reflected back on his memories of seeing the Doctor with Donna. "Anyway!" he added brightly, smiling down at Gwen and patting her hand. "The two of them were inseparable and the universe was better off for it too, only, the Daleks came back," he admitted darkly, "but Donna, she was special." He smirked slightly, "Even if she never believed it. Long story short." He let out a long breath, "in the end... It was Donna Noble who saved the universe and all of creation from being erased and her reward?" he remarked somewhat bitterly, "was to have all her memories of her time with the Doctor erased and then left behind on Earth with what was left of her family." Jack looked down, knowing it sounded bad, but maybe not as bad as it truly was. The only way anyone could ever know of the immense loss would be if they travelled with the Doctor and experienced the wonder of life with him. 

"Why, that's awful!" Tosh breathed, her hand to her heart looking absolutely broken for Donna.

"Yeah, it is," Jack agreed, "but to be fair, the Doctor only did it to save her life. Her mind, you see... Well, it's too complicated to get into right now, but she had taken on the consciousness of a Time Lord and her brain, well it just couldn't cope and it was going to burn out and she'd die. The Doctor, he couldn't live with that. Wouldn't allow it to happen, no matter how much she begged to be allowed to keep those memories." He winced remembering the story the Doctor had told him one rare night that found the Doctor in a personal mood. He closed his eyes against the image of the pain shrouding the Doctor's face. The tears streaking down his cheeks as he told him the tale. The Doctor had been damn near inconsolable muttering nonsense about Bowie Base One and "going too far". Only to add how none of it would have happened if he hadn't "killed his Donna..." Jack's eyes popped open as he ran a hand through his hair. That bit took some explaining, that's how he found out about the rueful fate of Donna Noble. He blinked heavily, it still tugged at his heart, the entire thing. The Doctor with both his hearts shattered and the feisty ginger, reduced to a shell of the person she had become.

"So how do we help her, this Donna? Where do we come in?" Ianto chimed in bringing Jack out from himself and causing a grin to light up his face as he stepped away from Gwen. He knew he could count on his team. He looked down at Gwen and gave her a reassuring smile and her hand a squeeze before stepping away.

"That's just it," the Captain admitted, his pant legs brushing against each other as he made his way over towards his desk. "I think we're supposed to find her, but I would think if she saw _me_ it would trigger her memories too, which in turn could kill her," he added, "so I suppose the actual locating part will have to be up to all of you," he admitted. "As for the rest..."

He was about to admit that he hadn't the bloodiest clue as to how to proceed and that they'd better start brainstorming, when he was interrupted by a sudden burst of wind though (obviously) no window was open down in the sewers and a familiar wheezing and groaning sound reached his ears.

Harkness stood at attention. He was grinning like a boy at Christmas and he knew it. All around him, his team was a bit in shambles, firing questions his way, but he ignored them. Only one thing in the universe made a noise like that!

The TARDIS materialised without breaking anything (luckily) and the door opened as a lanky man, the others recognised as the Doctor, stepped forth adjusting the collar of his long camel coloured trench coat. 

"Sorry to pop in unannounced," he called out to them, "but I had a feeling Jack might need my help in explaining things right about now. Speaking of Jack where is the..." He glanced around, pivoting his head to the side as he spun on the heels of his trainer clad feet. "Oi! There you are Jack, missed me much?" he grinned all tongue and teeth at the other.


	5. Discussions and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More discussion in the HUB over the Doctor's arrival and Jack's intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having to start my real life over and this got pushed aside. I am so very sorry.  
> I came on here to read and maybe start a new story but then remembered this one and was immediately inspired to write something for it.  
> So fear not, it is not dead.
> 
> Thank you everyone for sticking with it.
> 
> Love to you all!

On long legs, the Doctor strode across the floor of the Hub, hands jammed impossibly deep inside the pockets of his coat, grinning wildly at all the gaping faces staring back at him until he found the one he was looking for. 

"Jack! There you are!" he called to him as he met him in three strides engulfing him in a hug that the Captain eagerly went into. 

"You still know how to make an entrance I see," Jack muttered into the Time Lord's ear with a low chuckle, clapping him on the back a few times as his heart raced with excitement at seeing him and the TARDIS once again. 

"Yeah, well you know me," he pulled away from the other smirking slightly in jest, straightening his tie before continuing with a slight cock of his head. "Best to keep 'em on their toes!" He winked at the other as he took a brief moment to study the immortal's features. It had been a while. Too long if he was being honest with himself, something he had no intention on doing. That's what he had Donna for, or would again shortly.

Ianto watched the exchange between his lover and boss and the man he called the Doctor with nervous anticipation. He knew of the man, seen the wonders he could do, heard the stories, but to see the way Jack lit up in his presence set the former office boy on edge. He fidgeted with his suit jacket a bit, glancing at the others before settling his eyes back on the happy reunion until he simply couldn't stand it any longer.

"Um, excuse me!" he called out to the two of them. "Sorry to interrupt. It's just that I, and by I, I mean all of us. Tosh, Gwen, Owen and myself... Ianto, Ianto Jones," he reintroduced himself, the slight hesitation in his voice hinting at his insecurity at having the Doctor in the Hub with Jack. "Well, we were wondering what it is you'd have us do? To help you and your friend, Donna is it? What is it that you need us to do exactly and if I may be so bold," he paused not wanting to anger the man but feeling it needed to be asked. "Why can't you simply fetch her y'erself? Why some elaborate scheme? Why involve us at all?" 

Owen spun around in his chair, turning it to face the Doctor and Jack. "Coffee boy here brings up a good point," he agreed using his pencil to gesture in Ianto's direction. Owen noticed the slight look of disdain he shot him at the nickname. 

He ignored it. 

"I've done a bit of research on you lot... Time Lords, and you in particular, _Doctor_ ". The medic growled out the final word of that sentence, emphasising each letter sound, each _syllable_ in the word "doctor". _He_ was a doctor. It wasn't simply a name one bestowed upon himself. It was a title one needed to _earn_. As far as he could tell, the man talking with Jack hadn't earned the right to call himself "doctor" by any standard he knew about! 

Owen set about tapping his pen on his desktop, dark eyes analyzing every detail he could, every nuisance passing between the Torchwood leader and the man that arrived in the big blue box. His lips parted as he took in a cleansing breath, releasing it slowly before carrying on. "It seems to me, you can't go fetch this so-called friend of y'ers 'cause you did somethin' to her, yeah? What was it? Pissed her off? Abandoned her? Hurt her somehow at the very least, yeah? I'm wagerin' if she sees you, it won't be good- Jack too for that matter. What I don't get is, if you care for her so much, why'd you swan off and leave her in the first bloody place? Is that a requirement to travel the stars?" He shot Jack a poignant look, "Leavin' those that count on ya', that have your back, leavin' 'em behind? The ones y'er responsible for, to fend fer themselves?" 

The tip of his pen found its way back between his lips as Owen smirked at the two men, waiting to see how Jack's precious Doctor would answer his line of questioning.

"Ow!" came the indignant shout from Owen as his pen launched from his hand, clattering to the floor as he ducked his head and tuned quickly to fire a pissed off glare back at the perpetrator who cuffed the back of his head. 

There stood Gwen, arms now folded across her chest, glowering down at him. She bent slightly at the waist to level her gaze more fully upon him. She smelled of lavender and a clean, vanilla soap scent that Owen remembered he _used_ to love so much. _Used to_ , because right now, Owen wasn't even sure he liked Gwen Cooper very much! 

"Oi! What the hell was that for!" he shouted back at her, eyes narrowed as he focused his irritated stare upon her. 

For her part, Gwen didn't even flinch. She couldn't even be so kind as to give his ego a courtesy stroke and pretend to be slightly nervous at his outburst! No. Instead she stood her ground, green eyes locked upon him screaming her bloody disapproval.

"Owen Harper!" she chastised," we have a guest in our... Well, our sodding home and it will not do to have you talkin' out of turn like that now will it?!" She told him through gritted teeth before changing her demeanour entirely and shifting her body to more fully address Jack and the Doctor. 

"I do apologise for our medic here, Doctor," Gwen began woefully, "see, he was never fully loved as a child, makes it hard for him to act like a civilized human bein' like the rest of us," she half explained, half teased, flashing a small grin their way. "Of course we want to help you and Ms. Noble. We'll do whatever we can, simply tell us what you need us to do, and we'll do it. Right team?" she asked the group, raising her voice at the end to catch their attention.

An uncomfortable silence filled the HUB as no one responded. Gwen chuckled nervously and pivoted quickly back around to more directly address the staff. "I _said_ she dragged out the word, her eyes flitting to each of them to insure she did indeed have their attention this time. "We will do whatever it is you need us to do to help, right team?" She tried again, an awkward smile tugging at the corner of her lips when she turned back towards the Jack and the Doctor, this time bolstered by the quiet chorus of _yeah's_ and _yes's_. 

_Oh yeah, I'm gonna kill 'em all later. No doubt about it._ The notion races through the Welsh woman's head as she notices the amused glances passing between Jack and his Doctor.

"Ms. Cooper isn't it?" the Doctor asked, one eyebrow raised as he looked her over, face serious for a moment. 

Gwen fidgeted under his scrutiny, hand moving to her head to feel for any stray hairs. "Yes... Yes, sir. Doctor. Doctor, sir," she laughed as he came nearer, his face softening into a boyish smile, brown eyes shinning. "I'm sorry, what is it that you preferred to be called?" 

"Who me?!" he asked, eyes widening at her question, smile broadening. "Awww... Anything is fine, except late for tea. I don't think I'd like that one very much," he winked at her and then shook his head at her. "Come 'ere you!" he exclaimed, pulling her into a great big bear hug. 

Jack was suddenly at their side, Gwen couldn't see him as her face was buried inside the soft amber warmth of the Doctor's trench coat, but she heard his voice off to her left. 

"Hey, can anybody get in here, or is this an exclusive hug?" he placed one hand on each of their shoulders, indicating his intent to infiltrate their hug. 

The Doctor released Gwen, holding her at arm's length for a bit before dropping his hands and rolling his eyes at Jack. "Stop it," he warned him flatly, but there was something else there, the slightest colouring of amusement lightening his simple words. It had been too long since his last visit with Jack. He missed the easy banter. 

Jack pouted exaggeratedly. "You're still no fun, you know that?" he accused the Time Lord, pointing at him, before pulling Gwen to him, arm wrapped around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze. "I'll take a hug wherever I can get it!" He looked down at her and winked wishing things would stay like this. Easy. Light. Fun. He knew better though. The Doctor was here which meant there was trouble. Maybe it wasn't universe ending trouble this time, or maybe it was and he simply wasn't saying so yet. Jack wouldn't put it past him. However, if it was simply that Donna needed them, well, that was good enough of a reason for him. 

He petted Gwen's arm absently as he let his piercing blue eyes drift over to the Doctor. He liked to think he knew him fairly well and behind that grin, and those playful words, there was pain in those eyes, and plenty of it. The Doctor was worried, and sad. So very, very sad and lonely. He missed his feisty, sassy ginger gal pal and from their last conversation, he knew it was more than that. That _she_ was more than simply a pal to him. 

He loved her. Loved her with a depth Jack couldn't even begin to comprehend; especially with the lengths he was willing to go to to get her back. 

_He_ knew it. The Doctor drunk on ginger beer knew it, but the Doctor sober? He wasn't to sure about that one. Biting the corner of his lip subtly, the former Time Agent, nodded his head and laughed, pretending he had been paying attention to whatever the hell had just been said and not a million miles away, lost in his own thoughts.

_This time, the Doctor was gonna fess up and admit that the most important woman in all of creation, was also the most important woman to him too. He'd do it, or maybe he'd reconsider having him and his team help him? It was for his own good. It was about damn time he stopped hiding from his feelings. After all, he would have to confess them to Donna. She wasn't stupid, she'd figure it out eventually. Jack would hate to see the most brilliant man in the universe be a complete idiot and ruin everything by saying the wrong thing, or worse _nothing_ to the woman he loved when and if they could save her that is._


	6. Disillusionment and Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna feels the pull of something more and the Doctor and Jack have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone still reading this, I had started this chapter months ago and it was calling at me to finish it. I didn't want to start completely over so here it is... FINALLY. With a big chapter in my personal saga coming to an end next month, maybe I can finally start working on my writing on a regular basis again. (Once I get a computer with a letter "T" that bloody works!)
> 
> Again, thank you for sticking with the story.

"I'm not stalling!" came the indignant snort from inside the fitting room as Donna wrestled with the bloody fastenings of the ivory coloured wedding dress. "You know, for as many pounds as I'm spendin' you'd think this place would invest in better lighting!" she called over the door as she smoothed her hand over the smooth, cool satin bodice.

"My boobs look freakin' HUGE! Like two great watermelons stuffed into an overpriced sack!" she moaned, twisting in the full length mirror to view herself from another angle. She dropped her hands to her sides, eyes rolling upward, "It's bloody hopeless. I can't get married in this. We'll have to postpone the wedding or else I'll be marchin' down the aisle in sweat pants and one of Gramp's jumpers."

Standing up and reaching for the door handle, Sylvia Noble tried to pull the door open to see her daughter. "Honestly Donna!" she sighed loudly, "must you make such a fuss for everyone to hear?!" the older woman complained glancing about and forcing a smile upon her lips. "And the door is locked. How am I supposed to tell you what I think if you don't let me see?"

Taking a few steps away from the door, Sylvia glanced at her own reflection in a nearby shoppe mirror, admiring her still trim figure. "You know Donna, it wouldn't have killed you to go on that Grapefruit Diet that my friend Angela's daughter was on." Adjusting her hat on her head slightly, Sylvia turned back towards the fitting room. "Then again, if you don't like this wedding, there's always the next one."

Inside the changing room, Donna Noble was doing everything she could not to scream. She slowly banged her head against the thin wall while her mother rambled on, hands clenched into tight fists at her sides. With teeth gnashed together, Donna retorted tersely, "Your mate Angela's daughter was four months up the duff when she got married so I suppose there is always THAT option!" Having quite enough of her mother's advice, Donna loosened her fists and began peeling herself out of the dress. As it pooled at her feet, she caught a glimpse of herself in the changing room mirror. It wasn't any part of her own body that caught the ginger's attention, it was the simple _Yale_ key that hung from an even simpler chain around her neck. With a touch that could be described as almost reverent, Donna lightly fingered the key, her eyes staring past the simple walls she was encased in. For the briefest of moments, she could have sworn she saw someone, or at least, a set of eyes. Yes, eyes. She _knew_ those eyes! Those intensely, sad brown eyes, but why on Earth could she not focus and bloody remember any other details?! And why were those eyes so sad?! It was enough to drive her around the bloody bend! Still, for that infinitesimal moment of time, Donna had felt more at ease, more... _Happy_ , than she had in simply ages! Then, just like that, it was gone. It was almost as if a wave had washed over her, filling her with such bliss, only to retreat back into the sea, taking it all away again.

She shook her head hard sending her ginger locks flying around her face. That was simply nonsense!  She was getting _married._ She must have been thinking about Shaun! Donna forced a smile upon her lips as she stared back at herself in the mirror, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She knew she was lying to herself as she stepped out of the dress, not bothering to pick it up and return it to the hanger. Methodically, Donna began to pull on her own clothes. The air around her suddenly felt too thick and the dressing room much too small. Her mother's voice rang throughout her head at a volume that was simply much too loud. A feeling of urgency wrapped itself around Donna as she suddenly longed to escape from this bloody shoppe... No, it was more than that. As her hand reached upward to absently finger comb her hair back into place Donna was filled with a yearning to leave simply everything behind and just GO! The puzzling question was, go where? Her hand dropped wearily to her side as the question rattled about in her brain. _Where_ would she go and _why_ the sudden urgent need with her wedding so near? Was it simply cold feet, or something... _more_?

It took some doing but Jack had finally managed to get the Doctor alone and someplace relatively quiet. Of course, when he envisioned this scenario in his mind's eye there was candlelight illuminating the gentle features of the other's face, reflecting back in those doe like brown eyes and soft music caressing their ears. Well, and far less clothing was involved, but beggars mustn't be choosers he supposed. The Timelord was slumped against one wall of the conference room, hands jammed inside those seemingly endless pockets of his trench coat while his eyes stared at some spot on the floor. Jack sat on the edge of the table his own thoughts consuming him and his earlier impulses at having the Doctor all to himself as he mulled over the facts as they had been presented to him.  
Shifting his weight to a more comfortable position, Jack inhaled slowly through his nose and blew the breath out in one long stream. "So what you're basically saying," he began, eyes travelling along the length of the man across from him as his arms shifted to across his chest. "Is that _if_ Donna sees you, or even me for that matter, that all the memories you sealed off from her will come flooding back into that brain of her's and basically nuke it? Killing her, right?"

A hand is pushed through his wayward hair as the Doctor lifts his eyes to meet Jack's. "Well, that is certainly one way of putting it. Blimey," he fretted, "you're certainly not pullin' punches are you, Jack?"  
Shoving away from the wall, he began pacing about the room. His long strides taking him across it in only a few steps. The atmosphere surrounding the Timelord was tense and ripe with a heavy, thick pall Jack hadn't seen since Rose had been trapped in Pete's World after the Battle of Canary Wharf, only there was something _different_ this time. A fierce determination was brewing... _Simmering_ , behind the tortured look in the Doctor's eyes which was a complete departure from the quiet resolution of acceptance they contained after losing Rose. "I was _wrong_ , Jack," he admitted not worried about his ego for once. "I mean, no... Not completely, I did what I could at the time, but now?" A soft growl of frustration slipped past his lips, "Now I _know_ I should not have left her, not like I did. I need her. The _universe_ needs her!" With heavy steps, he made his way over to stand in front of his former companion. "Jack, _something_ won't let me let her go. Not like the others, like..."

"Like me?" the captain replied in a tone that left little doubt that he was still somewhat bitter about how that entire scenario went down.  


The Doctor tossed his head back and groaned, turning away from the man. "Oh not bloody this again," he muttered under his breath. "I did what I _had_ to do then too... What needed to be done. You... You were _wrong_ and... And, I didn't have time to bloody well think of another solution!" His hands tossed up in the air as his long coat swirled about his ankles as he turned back to face him. "Besides," he drew out the word, "look at yourself," he beamed at the man, turning on that smile that made a slight shiver run down his spine, "You're bloody brilliant you are! Running Torchwood. Your team. The work you do," he moved his hands to adjust the knot of his tie as a rather smug grin lit up his features. "I'd rather like to think I had something to do with all of that."  


Blue eyes rolled in good humour at the Doctor's basking in HIS so-called glory. "Yeah, yeah. You're a regular Da Vinci of human's, " he retorted sarcastically, "But seriously, Doctor; I get that you have a thing for Donna, but there's something more you aren't saying so- **Here. Now. Spill it,"** he demanded, moving to standing as his hands pushed into the pockets of his trousers. "Lay it on the line for me Doc. What else is goin' on here?"

The Doctor beamed back at Jack. He placed his hands upon his shoulders and nodded, "See?" he pointed out, "See how quick you are? Yes Jack my boy there _is_ more. There is much, much more. The only problem is," he muttered, hands dropping to his sides, "I don't quite know what it is yet," trailing off, he bounded across the room again before spinning back around, "Okay, that's not true either," the Doctor admitted, "I think I know... Or at least, I'm 95.72% positive I know but I am going to need you, and more specifically, your team, to retrieve Donna, get her here and let me run some test on her in the TARDIS all without letting her know I'm here.. OR that I exist. At least, not yet."  


His steps were purposeful and gracefully as he re-approached the immortal. There was an almost pleading look upon his face that made him look almost childlike if it were not for the weight of all his many years held within his eyes. One last time, the Doctor tried to enlist Jack's unwavering support with his plan.  


"Aw come on Jack!" he taunted with a sassy grin, "you can't bloody well tell me that _Captain Jack Harkness_ of all people can't get the girl now, can you?" he teased, appealing to the man's ego.

Jack laughed a deep, rumbling laugh from low in his chest, "Nice one Doc. Trying to appeal to my ego!" he acknowledged with a brilliant grin all his own. "Of course I can. Who do you think you're talkin' to here! Though, if we're being honest and all," he leaned forward slightly, a devil may care grin reaching his eyes as he made no secret of devouring the Doctor, "it's the _guy_ I'd rather be _getting_ at this point."

The Doctor simply rolled his eyes, "Honestly Jack... Stop it," he held up a finger and pointed it to him in warning. "Women and children first. All good Captains should know that I would hope!" he smirked back at him, before laughing and slapping him in camaraderie upon his shoulder.


	7. PSA

This is a quick note to anyone still interested in this story. This past year has been hellish for me. My health greatly deteriorated, I lost my job and I filled for divorce. So, everything else was put on the back burner. It is fully my intention to get back to this story (and I have some massive editing and rewrites for some older ones, but I digress). I have been outlining the next chapter and I am hoping to have something up in the not so distant future.

Thank you and so much love to you all!


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